how can u be prego again
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
