Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
