i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
