How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We have started to decorate penises.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
that may or may not have been my penis.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
