remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
