The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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