Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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