PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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