we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
