I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
