just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
