after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
