I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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