We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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