Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
