wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
