just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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