VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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