thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize