a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
