I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
