Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
