She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize