They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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