It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
