I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
