whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
