At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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