peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
