Please, let me fuck your mom
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
