yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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