the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Send help, water and tortillas.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
