yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
