dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
