He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
