Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
