@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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