ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
