I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
