me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
