Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
