Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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