my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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