i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
