You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
