i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
