I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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