Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
