You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
