That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
